I can't make you love me if you don't ;

I know I left this blog for dead a while ago,
And I never thought I would want to write again.
Not when you inspired most of my writing.
Not with you gone.
But yet here I am,
Because I can't get over this feeling.
Words are so inadequate.
Because on the occasions where I'm reminded of it all,
the sensation is indescribable.
Most of the time, its like someone stuck a finger and dug around the hole in my heart,
And I can't concentrate on breathing because its too intense.
Because when the yawning chasm that refuses to be put to rest is wide awake,
it won't let me forget.
The wound is ancient and the pain is dull,
But it hurts.

It really hurts.
It is so strange how Bella Swan's pain and inability to heal has rekindled all that I have repressed so well, for so long.